Fear of Water?

Sometimes new starts are hard. They may mean that we are leaving behind something else, or simply heading into uncharted waters. I have been Kayaking and swimming since I was old enough to walk, creating new paths and exploring new areas of Long Island sound without fear. Why then, all of a sudden, is their fear?

Photo I took at our local beach in Long Island

 The ocean beaches are only a few miles from our home and for some reason I always thought that it was a good idea to venture into the water on the windiest and harshest days. I love the water and every chance I got I would take a boogie board or just my body and thrust myself full force into the power of the waves. I became an expert at getting my mother's heart to stop dead as I pulled myself  under the water to survive the next wave crashing down on me. While I was a strong swimmer, an undertow or current would have the strength to take me out without Mother Nature even trying, but still, I had no fear.

This weekend however, I stood by the side of the water and realize that childhood determination and fearlessness, was gone. I now KNOW the power of those waves. I understand the consequences that one wrong stroke can produce, and I am scared. I stand there, scared. While I know the consequences, I am also more aware of ways to survive the undertow, am a far stronger swimmer, and am trained as a Lifeguard to surface at the right moments. But I am still scared. Why is it that when we realize the strength of the oppositions we face, somehow our ability to overcome takes three strokes and a dive backwards?